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| We'll love again, but just not each other.
Thats how it will be.
Its just I have been perfectly fine since the month i moved away.
I am happy. I love my life.
I am having fun with my friends.
Its just that second you re appear back in my life and in a subtle way you feel ashamed for what you have done.
you just brought all the pain back to me.
its not fair.
you just had to intervene somehow sometime.
just wish you would understand how much my life is so much better without the pain, without you...
but hate is a strong word and im not like that
i was brought up to forgive but its just a matter of time. for me to forgive and forget you completely.
maybe its when you choose to acknowledge and apologize to me for what you have done then i will be convinced.
But i have already moved on. I have.
You were just a small chapter of my life.
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| oh please hah
love's a bitch. whatever
don't need that at the moment. time will come
Loving life!
Loving art school
Loving the people!
Working hard towards my dream! i know i can get there
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| hopefully if you read this that you understand that you have just made a decision in your life.
great. good. im "happy" for you. that you are pretty much too pathetic to tell me face to face. its okay if you don't want to hear me break down. Cause i haven't actually.
Just want to let you know that I am not going to stoop down to your level whatsoever.
To be honest, what you wrote was just an excuse to hide all your low self esteem to deal with anything.
your excuses are just a way to make me feel stupid. but you know what. they never work
it never has worked and it never will.
its pathetic how you have found someone new and lie to me where you have been. wow it really has taken you such a short time to deal with distance. "refreshing" huh.
let it be mr. its okay
I can be as happy as I can without you.
You need companionship to fulfill your happiness, i don't
I can live without a guy, I am stronger than you think.
no more stupid sad dumshit excuses to need you. i can deal with it.
Go on. its okay
i'll be fine =]
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| I just don't feel that you appreciate what i have done for you for the past. I've always been there, you said you will no matter what happens to us. i don't get what is going on anymore. I go through anything extreme just for you and in the end you treat me like trash?!
If you think you can find someone better than me then tough luck, harsh cold truth to you is that no one out there will understand you as much as I do. I've done so much for you during your tough times, i was always there and yet all I get is shit at the end. You don't deserve to ruin my future, my life. I just don't think you are capable of handling it anymore.
Do things behind my back, assume things whatever, you've had your chance. I feel that i deserve so much better and you deserve alot less.
Good luck with that. i know how to make you the happiest person alive but i hope that the next person will give you so much more less back. She will never go to her extreme ways to make you better or happy.
if you read this, i never did anything with anybody if you are assuming that. if you did, then you should've told me anyways. its better than crushing my world every day thinking what the heck is going on. you are so immature.
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| 6 days after incident
mood: relatively happy/confused
plans: yep later in the afternoon
Its hard to say what happens next after a huge conflict, it is really hard to get answers from everything that has been heard. My choice, what do I believe what do I want is still a big confused ball of fuzz. I still want answers i still want it to be resolved but in reality it never comes the way you want. I found out things that I have never expected it to approach so quickly and so blindly. I sit at home sometimes thinking about the situation but not leaking a single tear. Angry and confused as I am, I am telling myself to move on and walk away. The thing is I have a whole future to look ahead regardless of what happens to other, I have a lot to look forward to and nothing is hold me back. But its the fact that the emotions are holding me back for a bit and I can't let it take over me. The week has gone by really quickly with lots of pain and anger and question if guilt still holds around the situation. I am still confused and I expect to heal faster and move as time passes by. There is no purpose for me to stay and wait forever for a sudden apology or the truth to reveal itself, I know that the chances of expecting an apology or more explanations are at the bare minimum. Well, its never going to really happen to be honest.
I may look at the situation in both ways, neither angle is wrong or right because everyone has their reasons to do something or trigger something. In reality I will never know the truth, sources are sources, witnesses are witnesses, friends are friends but the truth will never be revealed. What I believe of this situation is neither going to be this side or the other. I will always wonder what is what and what actually happens and never know it for real. Taking sides for myself will only hurt myself more, but I wish sometimes people will understand the pain they have affected towards the person and own up to it, confront and not blame. What has happened has happened, I will slowly accept the result and start to move on. The connection is cut.
Whether I forgive or speak to the opposition is our choice. Wherever the future leads us I don't know. Not speaking to each other is the option now maybe this situation will be forgotten and the opposition and I will be mutual friends or not. It depends, I will not expect or have high hopes for anything. The only way is to move on and keep walking on my journey. One part has parted, I may feel empty and emotionally scarred but it won't stop me. But I hope we can just be mutual friends and no more. No grudges no hatred just support. Apologies are sometimes hard to accept and always hard to give.
It does not hurt your pride, or show weakness to admit you are wrong.
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